How do we use humor in our communication if we want to increase goodwill and build common ground? How do we persuade by using humor? How do we use our wit to keep our wits about us?
For starters, be non-verbal! No, no, I don't mean don't say anything! Although you may know people who can make people laugh without ever saying a word, and even get people to change their minds, because they are so funny to watch. Just as there are people who provoke laughter in others by acting funny, looking funny, and sounding funny, regardless of what they say. But I'll say this about the way people look and sound. Nonverbal humor makes verbal humor funnier. And a lack of funny nonverbals can make attempts at lightheartedness seem heavy handed, as they fall flat, flat like the ocean on a hot windless day in the tropics, as the hot sweat pours from your skin like hot tea, but there is no tea because there is no water to drink, and why? Because somebody talked you into a walk under a now missing cover of clouds, telling you what great exercise it would, only you find yourself getting exercised with hot emotion instead, shouting to an unresponsive heaven that "THIS IS NO VACATION????? HEAVENLY GOD, WHY? WHY? WHY DO YOU DESIRE ME TO DIE?????" and your anguished cry has no echo and falls flat and the silence makes the heat seem even hotter than had you said nothing at all. But I digress.
The point I'm trying to make is that verbal humor, without nonverbal humor to support it, can be risky business, like writing that previous sentence. it was hysterical when I was saying that, but sadly you could not see that. I could. Trust me, it was VERY funny. But all you have are the words. In fact, one of the un-funniest things you can try to do with words is write about what is funny. It's painful! But the good news is, pain is funny. Keep laughing at me or with me and I'll explain in a moment.
While there are inherently funny words, (newcular instead of nuclear, for example) you will find more funny in a facial expression, a playful voice tone, and an exaggerated gesture. And you can use words to create a funny picture, to imply an accent, or to demonstrate that you have plenty of attitude. Y'all need me to draw you a pitcher? Well, pitcher this. Cartoons ever make you laugh? Oh yes, they did. And how? Via a generous dishing out of large portions of pain. Just why did that tickle you? The painful fact is, that...the rest of this sentence is in PART THREE!
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Dr. Rick Kirschner is a bestselling author, speaker, teletrainer and coach. He is the author of the 'Insider's Guide To The Art Of Persuasion,' now available at TheArtofChange.com , along with a blog, complementary newsletter and podcasts. LIMITED OFFER! Get a $49 audio on Dealing With Difficult People FREE! Details at theartofchange.com/promo
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Article Title: The Use Of Humor In Positive Persuasion Part Two
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