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Staying Married In The 21st Century

By: Marriage Saver

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For hundreds of centuries leading up to and though the 19th century, the majority of married couples stayed together. Of course, not every marriage was a happy one, but most stayed together out of necessity and a belief that this was what they were supposed to do.

The rate of divorce, now that we have reached the 21st century is approximately 50%. The reasons that people get a divorce are many and varied. It seems that those in the American culture are finding it easier and easier to get a divorce. Even though there can be many problems after as well.

Here's an interesting question - does anyone actually enter a marriage, thinking that they will end in divorce? There will always be challenges in a marriage relationship. There will always be things people can do to try and minimize problems. There will always be things people can do to try and head off divorce. Although divorce has been with us for hundreds of years, let's try and find a few ways to stay married.

As a couple gets married, their vows often include a statement such as, "till death do us part" and "in sickness and in health," words suggesting that they are going to make this work. However, when the going gets tough it gets easier and easier to want to split or to actually split up. So, first and foremost, beginning a marriage with a commitment to stay together is one good foundation to stand on. This means we will not bail at the first sign of trouble.

Now if you didn't make a commitment to beginning of your marriage and there are problems, it's still not too late to recommit the relationship. You do need to say to each other things like "I'm sorry, what can I do for you, I love you, I want to work this out." Let each other know, that's your commitment and this will let each other know that there is hope.

The next big question is how to heal the marriage and then worked on this commitment together. There are couples who are able to do this on their own, but most will need to be assistance of outside help. Some couples will be able to turn to family and friends, others will turn to the church or synagogue while others may seek professional counseling. Most importantly, try something different and to stick to a plan.

Your new plan will take some time to get used to, to become a good habit. That's where you may need some help from a friend or family, from the outside. Or, it may be as simple as making Friday night or Saturday night a "date night." Be sure to say and do nice things for each other each day. Again, let this become a habit. It needs to be done regularly for a many weeks, doing something nice for your spouse, letting them know that you care.

This new commitment will not always be easy, and it will not cure all problems, but if you are our really wanting to make your marriage work, if you really want a happy relationship to something else for the other person. Continue to do nice things for them. Instead of taking away from the relationship, continue to give to one another and your relationship will have a chance to heal and grow.

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Instead of giving up on the marriage, make sure you check the resources from the Marriage Saver at ways to save a marriage and take action right away with the ways to save a marriage today.

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